The Chain

I was bullied a lot in my teenage years and every day I though it will stop. Well it doesn’t really stop. It gets better as the bullied gets stronger, so I got stronger.
Why people are doing this? We will never know.
The only thing we can do is to speak up. I would never want anyone one to go threw the stuff I have.
Make a change, start with yourself.

I’m living, quietly bleeding,
hurting inside, so alone, won’t show it till I’m gone.
Only if they knew my pain, buried deep inside,
like a chain dragging me down,
like a night that never saw the light.
I’m bleeding, I would not call it the living, it’s more like internal bleeding.
I was dreaming,
now I’m screaming.
This is the chase and I’m not winning.
People are falling, no one has notice a thing.
I have been called stupid,
I have been called a fag.
Nothing will surprise me anymore, but then.
Everyone watched them making their hits,
I have been weak,
hide so they won’t see my pain.
This chain has pulled me down.
I have been wondering around, there isn’t a place that I could call home.
I have been in love till my heart screamed stop!
What I do, to hide the pain?
I smile, saying it’s ok.
I bleed from my scars, you have seen nothing until you get lost in the dark.
I hope that the hope will last,
what will happen if they,
the past take over my last.
Will I give up?
Never know,
what is that behind those locked door?
Maybe this is just another chain.
Maybe this is the change.


For what ever reason you came into my life I am begging you to stop haunting me.
Every hour the noise is getting stronger in my head.
Every whisper is getting lauder.
Everyday I’m looking on the ruins of our life, no chance to move on to be stronger then your spell.
I have been high, now I’m lonely.
When your voice caused me pain, your actions ripped me apart.
For what ever reason you have decided to ruin my life, I’m begging you to stop whispering.
You see me struggle for days now,
every hour falling deeper into those even more darker dreams.
For what ever reason,
out of boredom,
lack of heart,
stop whispering!
I am human,
I have feeling too.
But when the noise is getting lauder, your whisper is even more hurting me.
I don’t know why I’m even listening.

3 Hours of Walking in NYC

One of the biggest arguments that Church and many people has is that gay people are not happy.
If you watch this video you will get your answer why, its not a problem that happens everywhere in the world. In Sweden where I live right now, been different is treated as a uniqueness and something that should be never turn down, thought at schools, starting with kids from a very young age. To accept other people and love who you want. I was born in Poland, if he walked dressed like that anywhere in Poland, gay or not gay, he will be lucky to be alive. Fact, he over dressed a bit, but still that doesn’t give anyone a right to judge and no one deserves to be judged.

Watch it, share it, don’t be silent, stop homophobia!

UPDATE: One video shows one issue but when put to the spot light raises issues about itself.

He will lead you into the dark

He has been looking at me like I’m the one.
He has been touching me like no one else before.
He has been hugging me,
keeping me warm like there was no tomorrow.
I believed him when he said that he loves me.
I believed when I look into his eyes and saw the stars.
I believed him when he said he will take care of me,
that I’m the last one and we will be forever.
I changed my life.
I fallowed his dreams, put mine into a dark closed space.
We were happy for a while, felt like magic will never dry.
He has been telling me how much he wants me,
pulling me back into his arms.
He has been telling me to try again, holding my hand, let’s forget about the past.
That was just another lie.
He had that something special about him.
Now just listen to me. Run.
He only says what you want to hear,
love is just a simple world that he makes you to believe that is real.
Run. He will only break your heart like he broke mine.
He will only lie, like he lied to me.
There are no stars in his eyes, that was my soul lights getting lost in his dark heart.
He will try to convince that you are wrong, that his feelings are alive. Just Run.
There is nothing more.
So listen, you could be the next one.
Don’t lose your light like I did, there is no coming back.
Try to live and not to get hurt. Run.
I’m still looking for my bright light.
I’m still lost in the labyrinths of his lies.
So listen and run, it’s too late for me now.
Run.Please go.
It won’t take him long to poses your soul, love just works too fast.
Never use the word forever, there is no coming back after that.
Don’t get lost when you try to please him and don’t forget the sun. Run.