I grow up in not the best conditions for a gay guy and most definitely not the best ones even for a young boy.
My family was never close to each other, lack of father as a role model I think made things worse. On top of that money ware always the issue, God I wish there was no money!
I remember when the only time we had an oranges was on Christmas, and you would have think now how easy is to get them and how cheap they are. Life growing up in Poland as kid wasn’t so nice at all, well at that time I didn’t know any other , and it was good for me, until I realize I’m special, that I feel more and think diffident then others.
I start losing friends and there was a moment when I had non, beside my secrete lover that also was my neighbour ,that was all I had back then.
I wake up one day and after another secrete lovers meeting I realise I want more than just fooling around with someone, I want to LOVE, I wont to love so much that it hurts.
With this thought I went true life, coming out wasn’t that easy as I expect. I think that maybe just because people didn’t know that gay guy is exactly the same as any other people, dreams are the same and love is the same. No difference at all.
I had many unsuccessful relationships, some guys definitely take some advantage of a young guy that I was, some play some mind games, like the Catholic Priest.
I know Catholic Priest, what the hell was I thinking, but at that time I didn’t care who he was all it matter it was love, but shortly after I realize how foolish I was.
I could write and write about those bad ones or good ones, but what it matters now is I understand what Love is and I found one and I’m hopping to get married soon….
Real love is the one that is not easy, but it doesn’t meter what obstacles life will bring you fight with them together. For better and worse they say, I think sometimes we don’t see those better times, and if you just stop and think dear reader all you need is someone that you can cuddle in the cold morning, the one that you wake up too.
If you are reading thins and you think there is no hope for you, or that you are lonely. Well there is!!!
Don’t cut yourself of from world and go out there.
I have been diagnose with Depression/ Borderline personality disorder. I know how some guys feel at those lonely nights, but what keeps me going is that tomorrow is a new day, new adventure that it can bring new worries but as well new love, or continuation of the one we have.
There is couple of BILION people in the world, and if is bad now it means that isn’t the end, the end is when everything is all right.
Just because I’m MR. Gay Poland and I was on some competitions , do not mean that I’m not just like any of you.
Be Gay, be proud and if is real love, or any love at all. Show it, don’t hide it!!